Cynthia Tiano, a/k/a, "The Mediator", is a well-respected, established Supreme Court Certified Family Mediator and Attorney. She specializes in high-conflict, complex family cases, resolving issues such as equitable distribution of property, both real and personal, custody, co-parenting and support issues, and any other issue surrounding the breakup of a significant relationship.

Cynthia was an accomplished trial lawyer for the first fifteen years of her 25 year practice, until she decided to hang up her gloves, and mediate exclusively, which she has done successfully for the past ten years. Her experience with the pain of separating couples, along with her intuitive, solution-based approach to mediation, have made her a stand-out mediator and counselor in her field. She is here to help you learn to use simple techniques to prevent future problems, or to help you resolve issues you and your significant other may already be experiencing. She is available for mediation counseling both one-on-one via telephone, or through her writings and future products, which will be available on the website, www.MediationForPartners.com.

An Ounce of Prevention

As I assist couples in mediating their disputes, I often wonder how different their lives would look if they had discussed, agreed upon and reduced to writing the very issues they were now fighting over, early on in their relationships. 

Why would it make a difference?  Well, an agreement in writing makes sure that you both know where you stand, and, as memories fade, keeps expectations and communication clear around important issues. 

Of course, during the first bloom of romance, usually the last thing we want to do is to talk with our new lover about money, property, our expectations of each other, and the other issues that inevitably come up in every relationship somewhere down the road, especially if we plan to live together.

Isn't It Romantic?

How do you bring up difficult or controversial issues with your partner?  Things that you know need to be talked about, before you two get serious, before you decide to live together?

Or, if you are already in a committed relationship, how do you talk with your partner about those issues that will inevitably arise as life changes?   Issues such as, who gets what money or property if you decide not to be together any longer? Who will get custody of the children, or the dog, the cat, the ferret?  What will happen if one of you gets sick? Is in an accident? Or dies?

Do you worry about hurting your partner's feelings?  Are you afraid that they will feel differently about you if you even broach the subject of having a written agreement as to your expectations during your relationship?  Or about what happens in the event of a break-up? 

Are you concerned that they will see you as unromantic, cynical, mercenary? That you will appear morbid, negative, or pessimistic if you want to discuss protecting yourself and each other in the event of future illness, disability or death?

Talking about and coming to agreements about each party's expectations, financial or otherwise, while it may feel uncomfortable in the moment, will go a long way toward a harmonious relationship down the road.  It will surely help you and your partner when things change.  And they will.

Timing Is Everything

Your timing and intention are two of the most important factors when bringing up sensitive issues. Use your common sense here.  Make sure that you and your partner have sufficient time to communicate and develop your ideas, and let them know that the reason you want to discuss and resolve these issues in advance is for the protection and promotion of your relationship.  Work together as a team, each contributing ideas and opinions equally, and negotiate from a platform of mutual respect and equality.

Not only will this type of discussion and negotiation help to establish your expectations, but it will also set the stage for openness, and honest and frank communication in your relationship in the future.

So consider employing the proverbial ounce of prevention now, rather than a pound of cure down the road.  Honestly communicate your feelings and desires with your partner, and consider reducing them to writing, so there are no misunderstandings later.  You both will be grateful that you did.

To Your Best Relationships,
Cynthia Tiano, Esq.
www.MediationForPartners.com

CONTACT AND BILLING INFORMATION

Mediation counseling is available via telephone conference.  To schedule a mediation counseling session with Cynthia Tiano, Esq., please email her at MediationForPartners  at gmail.com.  Mediation counseling sessions are billed at a rate of $300 per hour, in half-hour increments, with a one hour minimum.

DISCLAIMER: Nothing herein shall be construed as Cynthia Tiano giving legal advice in any way whatsoever.  All content is for informational purposes only.  Consult an attorney for legal advice.