QUESTION:

a) Next time, don’t put jalapeño relish on the hot dogs.

b) Limit your future athletic efforts to marshmallow eating contests.

c) Share your Muses.

QUESTION: The doctor has successfully pumped your stomach and as a precaution against future problems, he wants to remove a few vital organs. You’re unconscious, but your mom, ever the cautious one, thinks this is a grand idea. How can you make sure that mom won’t be calling the shots?

a) Tell everyone that your parents were killed in the outback and that you were raised by dingoes.

b) Have your vital organs pre-certified as A-OK at least once a year.

c) Share your Muses.

QUESTION: You’re in your significant other’s car departing your local coffee shop with a large nonfat Café Latte in hand. Moving a little too quickly you run into the back of a police car. Officer Doright demands to see proof of ownership for the car. Your significant other is on a transatlantic trip and can’t be reached all week. How can you avoid a trip to the slammer for grand theft auto?

a) Next time make sure you order decaf.

b) Always buy an extra latte for Officer Doright.

c) Share your Muses.

QUESTION: You return to the home you share with your significant other. It’s 2 a.m. and you’re dead on your feet. You forget to disarm the house alarm. Now, flustered by the alarm’s piercing noise, you can’t remember the code. Officer Doright responds to the alarm and hauls you back to jail for breaking and entering because your significant other owns the home, and you can’t prove your legal right to be there. How could this have been avoided?

a) Never leave home.

b) Have Big Al tattoo the code on the back of your hand.

c) Share your Muses.

QUESTION: As an honest taxpayer, imagine your surprise when an IRS audit reveals that you owe thousands of dollars for unreported income. You react…Yikes! Then you realize the “unreported income” was actually reimbursement of your significant other’s portion of your shared living expenses. What can you do to satisfy the IRS that they have made an error?

a) Satisfy the IRS? Are you kidding?

b) Plead insanity.

c) Share your Muses.

QUESTION: What is the best way to show your significant other that you really care?

a) Climb Mt. Everest, barefoot.

b) Shave a grizzly bear with a disposable razor.

c) Share your Muses.

Click here for the answers!